Chapter Summary

"5 years", Akhilesh said to Sasha. "5 years of taking countless lives, of gambling my own life for money." Sasha was amazed at the 18 year old. Those were the words of a girl who learned to bare pain, to show no emotion as she used her weapon to take the lives of demons. All of that was for money. Sasha patted her on the back. “You did what you had to do." "I feel like a murderer. I hunted humans too." She paused. "I wanted money so we could be rich again. So we don't have to suffer any more. But I know what it does to you." " And what would that be?""It makes you cold inside. Makes you not care about anything because you get use to it. Use to the blood, the screams. But now Mary's dead." "It wasn't your fault," Sasha said. "I know. It's his fault -that's what hurts the most. Mary could've said something. If he had said something I wouldn't be moping in this new house we live in. I wouldn't have stopped slaying demons.""Go on", her sister urged, "You’ll feel better when you talk about it.""When those demons burned our land, I hated demons. They helped to kill Baap by putting that burden on him, living like a peasant in this land. So when I got a job as a demon slayer I also did it for revenge on all demons. I wanted to wipe them out on the face of the Earth." Tears were coming out of her eyes. “But I met demons who weren't bad. Yet I distrusted them."Akhilesh looked at her naginata, a wooden staff with the curved blade at the end. “But I'm tired of it. You have a job. There's no need for that old thing anymore." Akhilesh got up and went over. She carried the weapon in her hands. “Mary died. He suffered in silence. That was stupid of him if he said something he would’ve been breathing and laughing with us.Her sister smiled. “I am proud of you Akhilesh”. Akhilesh did not smile. She thought of Mary and wished she could've known he had been bitten, that Tavara had told her. But the past was the past and nothing could be done. As she stared at the weapon Tavara had given her she thought of how she used it to flee from death- out of rage and pain at the demons.For years Japanese women used it and she had had the honor of using it herself. One spin of her arm she would kill 20 demons at once. But the 18 year old was tired. The black wound on Mary’s ankle, his vomiting, and his constant sweating made the pain worse. And she knew she could not continue to endanger her life killing demons who whose families understandably would want to avenge them. Like she had wanted to avenge her Father . “Hide it. I don’t want to see it.”“Akhilesh you don’t have to hide it. Mary wouldn’t want that nor Tavara. Father would want you to be aware that you were once a demon slayer at 13! Thirteen. T hat is impressive. But you don’t have to continue living as one either. I know its painful looking at it, but it’s all you have to remember your past and Mary and Tavara by.”
Her sister was right. Akhilesh could not forget the anger and pain at their home destroyed. The grief at her Father and Mary’s death. Tavara too because, who was gone forever.
Akhilesh looked at the door and was afraid to go outside.
What if she got ran over by a car? Or Jugamoru-damn the spider to hell-was resurrected and came after her for revenge? Would she die painful and slow like Mary?
Her eyes looked at their new apartment- way better than the one –roomed one where everyone had to share the one bathroom in the hallway. A real mattress with iron springs and not a cheap old air mattress they pumped manually.
No more starving herself so Sasha would have a little more. Or eviction letters on the front door, threatening to throw them out of the place.It was a lot of things she ought to be grateful for, that she failed to see before.
Sure, she was poor in America for 5 years, years that felt like centuries.
But, she was alive.
Many children had no roofs above their head. No one to care for them. But her big sister Sasha was here. As a child she hated being alone. But loneliness is a man’s constant companion; Mary’s word’s said in her head. Akhilesh now understood. A lot of times people felt alone and on their own. Akhilesh would have to take death alone. No one could take her place, it would be her turn.
“Your right”, Akhilesh got of her bed and saw the bathroom they would not have to share with several other people.
She would be more careful with her life in the future. But that wouldn’t make her cower in the house in fear.
The oak shaft in her hand, the blade reflecting her brown face, Akhilesh knew she could never hide it. And she knew her days as a demon slayer had come to a end.
“Good-bye naginata. There’s no need for you anymore.” Akhilesh place the weapon by the door. She did not worry about anyone using it to kill her- only she was the few who had the strength to wield it.
“Let’s go eat ice cream in honor of Mary”, Akhilesh said, “Because he liked to that in the past.”
Sasha nodded and got her purse. Akhilesh followed her out, locking the door. She walked down the stairs. Sasha went out first waiting, for Akhilesh.
The sun was shining, she could see through the glass. Akhilesh could see herself and Mary running in pursuit of demons or in a hurry to get to the movies.
She took a deep breath. And entered the outside world for the first time.