Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Akhilesh's Biography

Born: July 29, 1996Place of birth: Parin Province, India
Occupation: Demon slayer
Physical Description: Stocky, brown complexion, black hair, plump and athletic figure
Family background- Her Father was a rich land owner and died in America of a stroke. Akhilesh's mother died in childbirth so she never knew her. Her sister Sasha is her only other sibling and older sister.
Events in life- Before living in poverty in America Akhilesh lived in a luxurious farmhouse. She enjoyed going outside and the peaceful silence surrounding her home. She helped to heard sheep and listened to the stories of the servants. Parties were common and Akhilesh was always surrounded by helping hands- hardly ever alone. As a toddler she cried when left alone. A tutor privately gave her lessons as they lived 4 miles from the nearest town. A excellent fighter- she enjoyed and was reckless not caring for any danger facing her. And she felt the champion of the world and ready for fun and excitement. But demons destroyed the plantation and they had to move to America as demons might come after them with violence. In America her Father's death made things worse for Akhilesh and Sasha her sister. Her sister had to work two jobs and was laid off. Akhilesh desperate asked Mary for any jobs his family might have. Mary gets her a job as a type of demon slayer in training under his boss a African American boy Dave, changing her life forever.

2 comments:

Editor said...

Nefertari-
Good job with the character biography and your sample chapter.
Can you go back and add some things to your outline? under every Roman number, you should always have at least an "A" and a "B."
http://fdaela.blogspot.com/2010/05/dramatic-plot-structure.html
Pay attention to your commas — sometimes they come before or after the wrong word — for instance, this sentence:
"Before living in poverty in America Akhilesh, lived in a luxurious farmhouse."
best
Mr. Enders

Adventuretymetammi said...

it's Tamara I just wanted to say that your book is doing really good so far